I know what it’s like to hover on the outside, too afraid to draw notice to yourself for fear that you won’t be good enough, or interesting enough, or that you’ll have to bend or break just to fit in. That your words will come out jumbled, that there will be awkward silences, and that your brain won’t come up with the words to fill the silence.
I want to tell you a few things.
You are wise. You know how to sit back and read situations and see the things that no one else sees in the studiousness of your quiet. You hold answers that everyone else is too loud to hear. You have a better understanding of people because you see their actions as well as hear their words. You have worth.
When people ask you how you’re doing and you easily steer the conversation back to them, because it’s easier to listen to them speak than to open yourself up to vulnerability I want you to know that what you say and how you feel is important and it matters because you matter.
You choose your words wisely, and that’s a pretty amazing skill. It doesn’t make you damaged that you have to think before your speak, that you don’t like being put on the spot. That’s okay too. You aren’t the only one that has to rehearse conversations in your head or work up the bravery to say things that need to be said.
Because you are brave. You’re braver than a lot of people because things don’t come easily to you. We look at other people and we wonder how they do it. How they pick up the phone and chat so easily, how they walk up to strangers without that urge to flee, how parties and social events are fun and not a trial.
It may be hard to express yourself with spoken words but I bet you make amazing art, or have insightful ideas, or write words that are powerful. Words aren’t always needed. Actions can speak louder and you get that.
It’s okay to prefer your book to going out. And you might not have a lot of friends but the ones you have are probably pretty amazing. You understand how awesome it is to have friendships that are deep instead of superficial and you know how to be grateful for the people that get you and your special brand of weird, odd, and awkward. And if you are feeling friendless right now you can join our group. Some of us are shy ones as well. We get how sometimes sitting behind the computer screen lets you be truly you, we don’t judge.
There are women in your tribe, even though you might not know it.
You don’t need to change to be loved, you are worthy and amazing in all your shy-girl loveliness.