Boundaries, you need to have them!

boundaries
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Today I wanted to leave you a little love note, a very important message that I need for you to know.

It is okay to have boundaries.

It is okay to tell people “no”. Stand up for yourself and speak out when someone is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated.

boundaries

Sometimes in life, we come across people who push our boundaries, or make us wish that we had boundaries to begin with. You know the ones. We allow them to put us down because we don’t want to be confrontational or cause problems. They say or do things that rub us the wrong way and make us feel uncomfortable. They take from us without giving back and make us feel used. We all know someone like that. You might let it go, you might make excuses, even justify it and blame yourself, but there’s something that you ought to know:

No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.

No one has the right to put you down.

It’s not okay. No one has the right to make you doubt yourself or believe that you are not filled to the brim with greatness and potential ready to spill over.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Eleanor Roosevelt 

So don’t give your consent. Don’t brush it off and allow it to be okay, because you are worth more than that.

It took me so long to learn this. To believe this.

If you don’t have boundaries make them. Put your foot down, put your fences up. Let people know that you do have boundaries, that your sense of self and your self esteem are off-limits. It’s worth it. It is worth it to be surrounded by people who support you or at least keep their negativity to themselves.

You know who you are.

You know what gifts are hiding within you so surround yourself with those who will nurture that and not try to take it away from you.

You deserve the best. Each and every day.

I repeat, it is okay to have boundaries.

12 Comments

  1. Avatar December 3, 2011 / 5:11 pm

    You're such a beautiful and enlightening Soul!!

  2. Avatar December 3, 2011 / 8:16 pm

    Thanks for sharing this Dominee. :)

  3. Avatar December 3, 2011 / 10:11 pm

    thank you Dominee :). And that quote you have in there is another one of my favorites…..

    something I do when I notice that I did allow my self to have a reaction from someone else's comment, is to look deeply within myself and get curious…..'hmmm, what is this reaction all about'…..and sometimes I just sit with it later on when I'm alone and see what shows up, without judgment………it's been quite insightful :)…..and then I say thank you to the Universe for bringing me that gift….

    much love!

  4. Avatar December 4, 2011 / 1:43 am

    You are so right! We all need boundaries. We need to be able to tell people how we feel and how their actions are not acceptable or hurtful! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Avatar December 4, 2011 / 3:29 am

    Boundaries are an essential part of self love!

    Thank-you for the reminder Dominee!

  6. Avatar December 4, 2011 / 3:43 am

    Oh wow – I'm really glad I stopped by tonight. I needed to read your message. Thanks so much for sharing your words of wisdom.

  7. Avatar December 4, 2011 / 7:07 am

    THIS! I actually have a couple of friends I think would get huge benefit from this post, so you can bet I'll be tweeting and FB-sharing it from the rafters!

    Beautiful reminder, Dominee, as all of your posts I've read lately have been – I'm so very glad we've connected!

    Blessings

    TANJA

  8. Avatar
    Gaelach
    December 4, 2011 / 4:38 am

    What a gorgeous message, Dominee. It's easier to let people walk all over you than to set boundaries, unfortunately. It's something I've struggled with for a long time.

    Sometimes, the most helpful thing in the world is hearing someone else give you permission. Thank you!

    Love, light and laughter,
    Gaelach

  9. Avatar December 5, 2011 / 12:41 pm

    Damn right! (That's all I had to say; you already said the rest.)

  10. Avatar December 5, 2011 / 7:57 pm

    Hi Dominee,
    I was thinking about healthy boundaries the other day. The thing is only I can know what is healthy for me, because I am the one that has to define that. I reflect upon the boundaries I have set in my life and question if they still serve me or if I am just letting fear keep me locked in from others.

    Love from Rio de Janeiro,
    AlexiaBR55

    PS. You found me on Twitter.

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