Let Others Help Themselves

let others help themselves

Morning my heart-loves. Today’s card comes from Louise L Hay’s Wisdom Cards and it is something that I’ve wanted to talk about.

“I can not learn other people’s lessons for them. They must do the work themselves, and they will do it when they are ready.”

let others help themselves

That’s a tough lesson for me. I want to help people. I want my loved ones to be happy. I also have to allow them to walk their own path. When they’re ready they will do the work, they will take care of their “stuff” it’s not my job to do it for them, as much as I may want to. This lesson reflects back on my word of the year, which is “boundaries”. Every day is a new experience.

You see, I’m a bit of an empath.

What is an empath? An empath is someone who is sensitive to another person’s feelings and emotions. Not just the obvious emotions either, a lot of the time you just know what’s going on underneath. The things that they aren’t showing.

It gives me great insight into people and I feel like it’s a huge advantage in being able to connect with other people.

It can also completely suck.

I pick up moods and feelings very easily and this can be very problematic at times. My good moods drop significantly when being around people who aren’t happy. I feel another’s hurt and pain so clearly sometimes that it becomes my own. This is especially true for people that I am close to. I use to find myself obsessing about their problems, feeling hurt over them, anxious because of them, and racking my brain on how to FIX it.

I was living another person’s issues and feelings and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that’s a bad idea.

It’s wonderful to want to help your friends, to want to make them happy, to make their life better, but there’s a thin line between supporting someone carrying a burden, helping them to carry a burden, and then trying to take the burden from them and carry it yourself.

You have to let others help themselves.

You can be there to be supportive and encouraging, but it’s something that they have to want for themselves first.

let others help themselves



  1. March 9, 2012 / 9:26 am

    Oh, I know that space. That is such a hard lesson to learn. It's one I keep thinking I've got figured out, and then … well, then I find myself entangled in something that's not mine. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. March 10, 2012 / 2:20 am

    That is so me too. Its a lesson I have been trying to learn for years. It is really hard not to jump in and fix things when you think you can see a solution.
    After being Mrs Fix-it for a long time I suddenly realised the people I had helped were repeating the same patterns and it was because they need to fix it themselves. I needed to step back and let them be.
    Love and sparkles

  3. Rhema Thomas
    July 12, 2013 / 7:40 am

    The first time that I read this post, I damn near cried! I couldn't believe that someone had actually put into words all of the feelings that I had been experiencing!!! :) everything that you've shared is exactly- to- the- T what I experience on the daily… And it absolutely leaves me feeling overstimulated/overwhelmed quite frequently. Previously, i didn't quite understand it or know what to call it but your descriptions fit nicely :) i don't ever feel like anyone that I know everyone completely "gets" what it feels like to be so sensitive but I am deeply grateful that there is at least one other of "me" in this world. God bless you, Dominee and thank you, thank you, thank you!

  4. Denise Shabangel March
    January 6, 2015 / 5:36 pm

    I am a true Empath! I pick up on moods etc. I hate to see anyone down and hurting, but like you say you can't always fix their probs. My mood can be affected by others moods. I am also a plant, animal and planet Empath x

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