There’s No Place Like Home…

There’s No Place Like Home…
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It has been the most stressful seven days ever.

This might not be a very well-known fact, but I hate change. I hate it with a passion. Change and I are not friends, we are mortal enemies. If I had my way, things just wouldn’t change, ever. Yeah everything would be boring, but I like boring.

Who needs adventure anyway?

Forgive my dramatic rant, but the thought of change has me running down the street in the opposite direction screaming like a crazy person… er… crazier person. We’re all a little crazy, let’s just accept it.

Anyway, vendettas aside, I discovered I had to leave my apartment. my lovely apartment, of 7 years and 4 months. The place I call home, the place that became even more magical after doing Creating Your Goddess Haven last year. My haven, my sanctuary, the place uniquely me, the place that has held and protected me for years.

And I have to leave it.

My apartment complex was purchased by a new company a few months ago and since then they’ve been remodeling all of the units. Black/gray/maroon walls, studio lights, and concrete floors, did I mention a $200 hike in rent? So it is time for me to leave this unit and move into a remodeled one, or leave altogether, and I really don’t want concrete floors.

I’ve been busily looking for a new place to live, feeling like my sense of stability and security has been smashed to bits, feeling so ungrounded, feeling resentful, scared, a whole kaleidoscopic of emotions that really don’t feel good. I’ve done a lot to relieve the stress, gone through my list of helpers, crystals, aromatherapy, journaling. There were two things that helped the most. Breathing and self-talk.

Sometimes all you can do is breathe and tell yourself that it’s going to be okay. 

So that’s what I did and right now it is okay. I’ve found a new apartment, I move in a week from now. The complex is called Country Village (how perfect for me)! and it’s beautiful. It’s perfect for me in every way. I get to have my own balcony, there are trees and picnic tables everywhere, it feels like magic.

I was walking home from giving them my deposit and I got hit in the face with a butterfly. Literally, a butterfly hit me in the face. Yes, Universe, I got the message, thank you very much. There were butterflies everywhere on my walk home, and I took lots of pictures (The ones up above were taken by me). I’ve never seen so many butterflies all around me (Although the fact that I am usually asleep during the day probably has something to do with that). It was the most magical walk home and I knew that it was “Change” showing me that it wasn’t so bad after all, a gift of tentative friendship, a peace treaty…

A reminder that transformation and change is beautiful.

I’m feeling pretty grateful for the space to change. For this gentle nudge to something better and more beautiful (even if it didn’t feel gentle at the time). I am exactly where I need to be and I need to be exactly where I am. As I began to wrap myself in the chrysalis I felt terrified and restricted and now that I am begining to emerge I feel all of those things lifting.

In this moment, I am thankful for change. 

7 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Irishwildflower_06
    April 25, 2012 / 12:05 pm

    I think that its awesome. I like natures way of telling you change is okay. Now you will have a balcony where you can grow your own small garden. This place sounds perfect for you.

  2. Avatar April 25, 2012 / 3:44 pm

    A balcony sounds wonderful and I personally love having a picnic table.  Wishing you an easy and joyous move into your new HOME :)

  3. Avatar
    Laurie
    April 25, 2012 / 4:14 pm

    Oh what a wonderful new direction your journey is leading you on! How exciting and such possibilities! I too adore the butterfly reminder!  I know change (especially if you don't want or instigate it) can be so daunting! Just try to keep an open hart & mind and soon you will see where spirit is leading you now! Can't wait to hear about your adventure as it unfolds!!

  4. Avatar
    Gin
    April 25, 2012 / 5:04 pm

    Yay- I'm so glad you found a place that feels so right for you!! It sounds lovely, and I know you're going to enjoy the balcony and trees and picnic tables. This post is so beautiful and affirming (and what lovely photos!). I'm so glad things are working out… change can be scary but it can be so very, very wonderful in the end. I'm happy for you!  ♥

  5. Avatar
    Elle Hull
    April 25, 2012 / 12:00 pm

    Congratulations on your new apartment and learning to accept change with grace (eventually ;) ).

  6. Avatar April 26, 2012 / 4:07 pm

    I'm so glad you found a better place.  Change is hard but you are doing all the right things with your attitude to make your move the best it can be. I love it, Country Village!

  7. Avatar
    Jessica
    April 26, 2012 / 3:20 pm

    Congratulations! Your new home sounds wonderful!

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