5 Ways to Be Happy

5 ways to be happy

Happy Self Love Sunday! What are you doing today to give yourself some lovins? Me? I’m sitting here with windows open, enjoying the cold Autumn air. HEAVEN.

All the time, people ask me how I am so happy, how do I stay positive, and why am I so damn cheerful?

The easy answer is: I choose to be happy.

And it’s not always easy. I’m constantly followed around by depression and anxiety and while they are very much part of my life I refuse to let them be part of my personality. I know it’s not easy to be happy, there are days when it’s the farthest thing from my mind but I choose over and over again to try to be happy. I practice self-care on a daily basis and I do my best to make choices that are aligned with loving myself. That includes seeking help and resources when my depression or anxiety starts getting unbearable.

And still, it’s hard.

5 ways to be happy

There’s nothing spectacular about my life (except that it’s all mine and I love it) and if you really looked at it, there’d be tons of reasons for me not to be happy. I mean, I work at Walmart and I’m a spinster-crazy-cat-lady-without-cats. I could go on about all of the things that are wrong, all of the people that have hurt me, or been mean to me, and I could unpack all of my baggage right now, but the thing is, the bad stuff, it’s there, but it’s not worth ignoring the good stuff. My fab friends, my online pals, my soul-work, the Autumn wind blowing fresh air into my cozy, lil’, apartment. There are so many things to be happy about that the not-so-happy stuff is just a few drops in the bucket of a good life.

So here are 5 ways to be happy!

Roll with the punches or punch back.

Some things you just have to roll with. On any given day, there’s a 50/50 basic chance that things are going to go your way. You have plans with a friend and they cancel on you last minute, instead of being annoyed or angry about it, think of what things that glitch in your plans is giving you the opportunity to do. Learn to adapt. Let things roll off your back and go with the flow. If that isn’t working then stand up for yourself and make change happen. You always have two options, take it or leave it.

I’m a big fan of looking for opportunities in the disappointments in life. Most of the time I believe there’s a bigger purpose for it.

Stop worrying about other people.

I can not stress this one enough. It’s basic human human-ness to let other people affect us but we can dial it down, if not turn it off. We can choose not to play with the drama-llamas. We can choose not to participate in their drama. (You really can!) I see so many passive aggressive posts on facebook about so-and-so and karma, karma this and karma that. Let it go. Don’t even bother yourself enough to perpetuate the negatives and post negative things, karma will do its thang without your Facebook post pointing it in the right direction, I promise.

Staying away from crazy-makers is one of the #1 rules to happiness.

Do a social media clean-up where you “hide” or “unfollow” those people, pages, or groups that don’t bring you happiness.

Stop complaining.

I know, I know, that’s impossible. Complaining about stuff is actually pretty healthy and good for us, it really is. A good venting session can lead us to figuring out what the ‘eff we’re going to do about something, as well as give us the ability to get perspective from someone else. I call this constructive bitching *nods*.

What you don’t want to do is complain about everything just because you can, that the happiness does not make! If you aren’t willing to change it, don’t constantly complain about it because it won’t do you any good. Embrace the positive!

I try really hard to see the bright side, stuck in slow traffic? Time for really loud music. Something not happening as quickly as you want it to? It’s an opportunity to explore other options. We can choose to complain or we can choose to move onto something else.

Make yourself a priority.

I talk all of the time about how self-love can improve your life. This is a proven fact, I’ve had so many women tell me how making real time for themselves has helped improve their feelings about themselves as well as how they relate to their spouses and children.

When you do things for yourself you make so much more happy space in your life. It’s a great buffer against the bad.

Be grateful.

Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t. It’s very rare to find someone that is perfectly happy and content with their life, there’s always something that we want, that we’re reaching for, that will make life better. Be grateful for what’s in your life right now. At one time in the past, what you have now is what you used to reach for. Appreciate it! Be especially grateful for the people in your life that lift you up. Remember that the Universe owes you nothing so be grateful for the gifts that come your way.

I’d love to hear what your #1 happiness tip is! Which one of the 5 ways to be happy resonates with you?


  1. Sibylle
    September 9, 2012 / 11:40 am

    Your points all resonate with me, and I can only say "Amen" to them! Looking back, what made the single biggest difference in my life was focusing on the positive. Not looking for the one drawback and bitching about that, but looking for the silver lining in outwardly "negative" events and people, as well as celebrating the obvious positive things in everything else.

    It took quite a while to make that switch, and it feels weird and unnatural at first (this last line is a quote from my Happiness e-course that I'm writing at the moment!), that's probably why so many people give up trying after only a few days. But it really pays off to stick with it. Years later, I can barely remember NOT being like this. It's become my nature, and I'm so much HAPPIER for it!

    Much love and blessings,

  2. Sarah A Clark71
    September 9, 2012 / 8:08 pm

    All common sense but somehow we forget! Sarah (positive Sarah – Relentlessly Positive)

  3. September 9, 2012 / 9:23 pm

    Awesome tips Dominee…..I have the windows open today too and am enjoying the first wind whispers of autumn :).

  4. Toni
    September 9, 2012 / 9:51 pm

    I so love the way you write Dominee. It always brings a smile to my face.
    Bright Blessings Gorgeous x

  5. September 9, 2012 / 10:07 pm

    We've got all the windows open, here, too! It's one of those absolutely perfect, 77F days with sunshine and puffy white clouds and happy little butterflies, etc.!
    And, well, there's one of my tips for being happy~ savor the good stuff going on!

    Also, if you're not happy with an aspect of your life, there are ways to change that aspect. Find your solutions. I got my ideal mate (and my 'impossible' dream life in general) by finding out what to do to attract these when dream boards and affirmations weren't working for me.
    Now, I have the honor and wondrous work of guiding others in co-create their own dream lives when the manifesting isn't working for them!!

  6. MaryJoyce
    September 10, 2012 / 12:08 am

    I love them all and agree wholeheartily. For happiness being present is my #1 tip, being in the moment , noticing it and having awareness of how blessed we truly are . Thank You Dominee for a wonderfully uplifting post

  7. September 10, 2012 / 8:51 am

    *grins*- well, for my self-care on Sunday, I watched the rest of the True Blood episodes I'd been itching to get back to all week last week, and then followed them up with a couple of White Collar instalments. Because dodgy TV makes great self-care in the Tanja-verse.

    I think gratitude is probably my #1 happiness tip – to be honest, if I can't find gratitude for what I have, all the other tips seem to fall by the wayside for me :-)



  8. Michelle Swan
    September 10, 2012 / 11:35 pm

    Here is my #1 happiness tip. I like to open my blinds all the way and stare out at the sky. Watch the clouds sail the blue sky or if it's a rainy day, gaze out into that beautiful grayness. Skywatching always makes me happy.

  9. Brenda Hagen 1
    September 15, 2012 / 3:13 am

    My # 1 Tip for me is enjoying the outside and taking a deep breath and connecting with the beauty around me  and sometimes i do my best thinking there and release,, whatever i'm feeling that Day .. Makes me Happy …  nature the little things 

  10. September 15, 2012 / 11:06 am

    Love this! Thank you for reminding me not to worry about other people…I tend to do that a lot, especially about the people I love. Even when you worry about loved ones, it's important to relax and let go of your fears.

  11. September 27, 2012 / 4:52 pm

    Amen Dominee!  My top happiness tip is what you said in the beginning – CHOOSE happiness.  It's easy to stay in a grump, to bitch, whine, moan and complain.  But all you do is perpetuate the grumpiness!  Be conscious and make a choice to be happy.  Love this post!  x

  12. September 27, 2012 / 4:54 pm

    Amen Dominee!  My top happiness tip is what you said in the beginning – CHOOSE happiness.  It's easy to stay in a grump, to bitch, whine, moan and complain.  But all you do is perpetuate the grumpiness!  Be conscious and make a choice to be happy.  Love this post!  x

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