Welcome to the body love challenge.
It's taken me a long time to come to terms with my body. I was a big girl growing up and middle/high school was not a kind place for that. My earliest journal entries are about losing weight so that I could be pretty. I remember my super tiny mom talking about losing weight, diets, exercises, and I remember looking in the mirror and seeing that I was twice her size.
In my 20s I discovered self-love and self-care and I started treating my body better as I struggled to love myself. It became this weird thing where I started losing weight as self-care and as those pounds came off it started to be more about the validation of losing it then doing it to love myself. Eventually, I lost about 70lb and something amazing happened. I hated my body even more. Which after all that work - sucked. I just looked in the mirror and didn't see anything good.
I realized that fat, size, etc has very little to do with loving yourself. It's all in the head.
I've gained a lot of weight back. I see myself as wonderfully curvy, cuddly, and squishy, and I love myself more than I ever have. I'm not the "perfect" weight, I have saggy boobs, but I love this skin-sack of mine.
There are 5 prompts in my Body Love Challenge that will help you embrace body love and start the journey to changing your mindset. Once you can wrap your brain around loving your body NO MATTER WHAT, amazing things happen.