What I’m Letting Go of in 2020

We’re only a few days into the New Year and as I’m filling out my Self-Care Planner I’m thinking about what I’m letting go of in 2020 as I move into a new year. A brand new shiny year with 366 days of magic just waiting to be filled. As I grow older, I find myself shedding more and more of who I used to be as I wrap authenticity around myself and become more and more myself. I used to give everything of myself so that other people would love me. I would try to be social even on the days when I was so mentally and socially exhausted that I knew I wouldn’t want to get out of bed for days. Loving myself wasn’t a problem. However, I still yearned for other people to love me in the same way that I loved myself. What I’m Letting Go…

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My Word of the Year for 2020

Every December, I choose a word for the coming year. The word is a theme, a mantra, a focal point for what I want to bring into my life. If you’ve followed my Self-Care Planner then you know I always include a spot for it! This will be my 9th year choosing a WOTY. As a look back at my words, each one is connected to a stage of my life. Surrender in 2012 was about surrendering to the concept of self-love. Shine in 2013 was about shaking away my depression for the first time in my life and letting myself be radiant. Strength in 2014 was about getting through another period of depression. I’d thought I’d come out the other side of my mental health but I’d begun to backslide. Depth in 2015 was about going deeper into every aspect of my life. Writing, art, and learning more about…

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What Are Your Low-Key Toxic Traits?

I’m a Hufflepuff. If you’re not into Harry Potter, Hufflepuff is the house that values patience and loyalty. Patience and loyalty are awesome traits unless they’re rooted in unresolved trauma and fear of abandonment combined with poor boundaries. Hello. That’s me. My loyalty, which makes me a kick-ass friend who will stand by your side no matter what – stems from an intense fear of abandonment. I fear abandonment so I over-compensate by not wanting to abandon anyone else. No matter what. Even when they hurt me, lie to me, take advantage of me – I will still be your friend. Let’s not even get into relationships – for three years I dealt with verbal and emotional abuse, cheating, lying, manipulation, gas-lighting, and being financially used and I stayed because loyalty. And patience? It’s endless. I am endlessly patient as I wait for you to change. Patient as I give…

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Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist

To celebrate the release of my newest workbook Self-Care for Breakups: Healing from Toxic, Abusive, and Codependent Relationships I want to share an excerpt from the section on relationships with narcissists and signs you’re dating a narcissist. Narcissism has become a hot button topic in the last few years. It also plays a part in many relationships, especially complicated and emotionally abusive ones. I want to touch on this subject because it’s so important to be able to recognize these signs so that your personal healing isn’t compromised. Narcissist: a person with an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others’ feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement. Someone can be narcissistic due to a personality disorder, life circumstances, upbringing, addiction, or personal trauma. They are selfish in a way that looking back seems obvious but while you’re in that kind of relationship it can seem…

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