Healthy Love vs. Unhealthy Love

As Valentine’s Day approaches it gives everyone a chance to re-evaluate their relationships. I wanted to showcase what healthy relationships look like and also what unhealthy ones look like. No one’s perfect and you might fall into unhealthy behaviors at times but it’s so important that your relationship be more healthy than unhealthy. I’m very aware of what unhealthy relationships look like. In my first relationship, we both did and said completely loathsome things to one another. It was 100% toxic and full of lies and manipulation. (On both sides) My second relationship was controlling and very off and on (on both sides). In my third relationship, I was the problem. I was jealous, controlling, manipulative, extremely up and down, and verbally abusive while they were patient, kind, non-reactive, and understanding – at least until the point that they couldn’t take my verbal abuse any longer and they created a…

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Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist

To celebrate the release of my newest workbook Self-Care for Breakups: Healing from Toxic, Abusive, and Codependent Relationships I want to share an excerpt from the section on relationships with narcissists and signs you’re dating a narcissist. Narcissism has become a hot button topic in the last few years. It also plays a part in many relationships, especially complicated and emotionally abusive ones. I want to touch on this subject because it’s so important to be able to recognize these signs so that your personal healing isn’t compromised. Narcissist: a person with an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others’ feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement. Someone can be narcissistic due to a personality disorder, life circumstances, upbringing, addiction, or personal trauma. They are selfish in a way that looking back seems obvious but while you’re in that kind of relationship it can seem…

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How I Met My Wife: Happy Pride Month

June is gay pride month and it’s a time to celebrate those key figures that fought for gay rights throughout history, most notably the 1969 Stonewall riots in Manhattan. It’s also a time to raise awareness about issues in the LGBTQIA+ community and for those (when it is safe to do so) to be visible, share our stories, and our voices. If you’ve missed it on the blog, I’m pansexual (meaning I find gender pretty irrelevant to who I am attracted to). I’m also married, which might be news to you! I’ve been blogging for 8 (or is it 9?) years and I used to be incredibly open about my personal life. As I’ve grown older, I’ve found myself blogging less about the personal and more about broad topics, maybe it’s maturity, maybe my life is just really boring, but over the last few years, I haven’t shared as much.…

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Healing From a Traumatic Relationship

If you’ve been around for a while then you’ve probably read about my relationship with an alcoholic. Holy trauma batman. I don’t know how I survived with my sanity intact. There were many times I didn’t think I would. As someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression that traumatic relationship, all three years of it, nearly broke me. (Since writing this post, I created a workbook on healing from toxic, abusive, and codependent relationships) To be perfectly honest I’m not sure that there was any aspect of my life not affected by the trauma of it. And I am starting to realize that it is trauma. We’ve all been in bad relationships, it’s a rite of passage, but then there are the relationships that cause severe damage that continues to affect your everyday life and relationships. Doctors have started to call it post-traumatic relationship syndrome. It’s a real thing. I…

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