What Breaking Up Taught Me

In October I decided to try my hand at dating. I’d been single for a good many years for multiple reasons. My relationships in my early 20s were dysfunctional and emotionally abusive on both ends. I always completely immersed myself in my partner and their needs and I completely forgot that I existed. When I think about past relationships I think about losing myself, I think about depression, I think about constant fighting, not feeling good enough and feeling incredibly lonely. Fast-forward five years. I discovered self-care and finally got to really know myself. I worked on the anxiety and depression and made it manageable. I discovered my self-worth and self-esteem for the first time ever and over all, I was happy. Happy with myself and happy with my life. I didn’t feel this huge sense of something “missing” but I did feel like things could be better, thus the…

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A Different Kind of Abandon

Abandon. I hate that word. It brings to the forefront of my mind all of my abandonment issues, ones that I still struggle with. It’s a trigger to unpleasant feelings and emotions. My past is littered with abandonment. My biological father died without wanting to meet me, and my family and relationships have never been what I would call stable or reliable. Abandon: that thing that people do to me. I’ve been struggling with abandonment lately. It’s one of those fights that looks like something out of Lord of the Rings. Big, evil, gnarly looking bad guys against little ol’ me. Abandonment, and fighting against it when there’s a chance it might win in the end anyway, is tough work. It’s still worth trying. I was reading, as I generally am because I’ve got mad bookworm skills (friend me on Goodreads my fellow book junkies), when I noticed the word abandon…

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Gratitude For My Purpose

This month has been really big for me. My favorite month this year methinks. There have been some really huge shifts from a business mindset, I don’t even know if I’d call it a business mindset, more of a life purpose mindset, which intertwines with my business. This month has been huge in affirming what I do. It all started with this Monthly challenge thing that I run, which has completely changed the way that I think about what I do and why I do it. It has filled me to overflowing with joy and love and purpose and all sorts of other amazing things. August’s challenge was all about body love. It’s been my most popular challenge yet (almost 200 sign ups!) and it has been an amazing journey and an amazing process. Every morning I see women showing up in the group and talking about their bodies. To…

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Feeling A Bit Unraveled

As you know, I’m far from perfect. In fact, if you were to ask me I’d probably be able to give you a laundry of things I want to work on within myself. However, on your average day, none of this stops me from loving who I am, and it doesn’t stop me from thinking I’m fabulous. We all have our shit to work on. Doesn’t mean we’re any less for it. I’ve talked a bit about how I used to have pretty terrible anger issues in the past. It took a lot of work but I made a lot of progress over a year and a half. Then I got bell’s palsy, got put on steroids, and had my period all at once. The work unraveled, the rages came back and I felt like the Hulk’s little sister. Since then, I hate to say it, but a lot of…

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