The Secret to Fixing Other People

The secret to fixing other people is that you can’t. You probably already knew that. It doesn’t stop you from wanting to fix people. To see what they’re doing wrong, to swoop in and save them from themselves. Raise your hand if you’ve wished with your whole heart that you could take away someone else’s pain. It’s so hard to watch them struggle, especially if you’re empathic like I am. Their pain affects you almost as if it were your own and you hurt for them. A long time ago I had a friend that struggled with drug use. She had been clean for a few years when she relapsed. I remember when she told me and those feelings that flooded me. My heart opened to her, to her pain and her disappoint and I wanted to jump into fixer mode. I wanted to say: “Do this and this and…

View Post

The Mehs.

The “Mehs” are that feeling you get when you’re sitting at home and then suddenly nothing sounds appealing. You don’t want to do all of those things that you usually want to do. Life feels blah and you sit there the whole day in this pool of apathy wondering “Why don’t I want to do anything?” Call it a funk, the blahs, a mood – it sucks and it’s frustrating! Especially on days where you want to be productive but YOU. JUST. CAN’T. I was feeling this way the other day. It went like – open to empty blog post, close blog post, check Facebook, close Facebook, load up World of Warcraft, close World of Warcraft, stare blankly at the wall, decide to watch tv, stare blankly at tv, turn off tv, think about food, try to decide if I’m really hungry, then if the hunger is worth the effort,…

View Post

The Self-Improvement Backslide

I’ve been open about my own journey of self-improvement, especially my issues with rage. Sometimes I think the Hulk has nothing on me. When you choose to change something about yourself it feels like this big scary adventure. The first step can be a little frustrating (but freeing, so very, very freeing) and you get through it and the next step, and the next. Then something even more terrifying happens. You start to detox. Maybe you miss the easiness of how you used to be, or you realize that maybe you can’t change because it’s hard. But you get through that too and you start to really think “Hey, I got this.” And you do until that moment when you don’t. You hit the Self-Improvement Backslide. Maybe it’s stress or hormones or a random moment of frustration but you find yourself back in those old habits and patterns that you worked so…

View Post

Cultivate Compassion for Yourself

There was a time when I was very hard on myself. I took the tough-love approach to my self-improvement. I thought that the meaner I was to myself the more it would motivate me to change. It didn’t. In fact after a while one of two things happened, it was so common for me to be mean to myself that I stopped noticing or on those days when I was depressed being mean to myself just made me feel worse. It didn’t motivate me to do anything. Self love helped me see that being a judgmental asshole to myself accomplished absolutely nothing. Do you want to know a secret? It took a long time to get out of that habit. I’m talking years. I was committed to changing but no matter how hard I tried the moment I got frustrated at myself I was right back to calling myself stupid…

View Post

Visit my privacy policy and my terms and conditions. Some links on this website are affiliate links, which means I get a small percentage if you decide to purchase anything. Thank you! All sales are final unless received damaged.